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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
huckleberry_h's InsaneJournal:
| Saturday, February 1st, 2020 | |
| 11:51 am |  It was a ball, it was a blast, and it's a shame it couldn't last. But every chapter has to end, you must agree. It was a joy, it was sublime, a splendid way to earn a dime for a dirty rotten guy like me. ( The Sinful Life of Huckleberry Hogarth ) |
| Monday, February 1st, 2010 | |
| 12:13 pm | Huckleberry Hogarth, Stage Managing Extraordinaire "I swear to God, Charlie made me do it!" That's my answer for everything. If something breaks? Charlie did it. If something goes wrong backstage? Charlie did it. If the chorus girls' costumes disappear? Yeah, Charlie did that too. He frequents the drag clubs, but shh, that's a secret. Anything else you can think of, Charlie did that too. So why am I telling you this? Because! Charlie told me I had to? Okay, no, not really. Where have I been the last few years? Sailing around the world and enjoying an endless plethora of beautiful women in sarongs. Or grass skirts. Or covered in nothing but a seashell bra. I'm serious. I've been Stage Manager for a popular Cruise Line for a while now, but the second Charlie called me for help? You better believe I was there in hurry! I'm Huckleberry Hogarth. Yes, I'm named after the scrawny twelve year old literary character that Mark Twain fantasized about. No, I'm not particularly fond of that fact. So don't mention it. I'm divorced. I don't have any kids (but I AM the Godfather of the minifranks). I had a goldfish once. I used to work for the Miami Herald. I used to be younger, but I'm just as damn sexy as ever. And I'm frankly just running out of things to say. Oh, yeah.. and I have to be running rehearsals in about an hour. So there. |
| Saturday, April 5th, 2008 | |
| 12:17 pm | Charlie, sorry I couldn't find any strippers on board the ship. But I hope you enjoyed the drinks and that blow up doll you fell asleep with. Seriously. I think it was the most successful bachelor party in history. At least your fiance can't really get mad at you for sleeping with a blow up doll. I was thinking about seeing if that nice, cabaret boy would let me hire him to strip. But I don't think you would have liked it. Even if Mr. Whitfield is very congenial. I've realized that I overslept... and I probably shouldn't be wasting my time writing in this.. because I'm Best Man, afterall.. and I think the wedding starts really soon... Hmm.. |
| Wednesday, March 12th, 2008 | |
| 4:31 pm | Fine, fine, Janis! You're no fun. Carey's alive (woo-hoo). Alfie Danger-James was eaten by sharks. Or maybe dolphins. He was eaten by sharks first.. and then the dolphins got the leftovers. |
| 2:04 pm | I've decided that with no food or water... and just themselves. Dr.Danger-James is probably dead. Shenkman probably got eaten by sharks. They were taking bets down in the casino, the other night. I put $25 down. |
| Monday, March 10th, 2008 | |
| 1:07 pm | No sign of the closet-lovers, yet? If no one's seen them by now, I bet they fell overboard. And the sharks probably ate them. How long should we wait before we hold a candlelight vigil? |
| Thursday, March 6th, 2008 | |
| 1:27 pm | So it's been 4 days since Shenkman and Danger-James went off for their little romantic getaway. How long does it take a healthy human being to starve or dehydrate? Shenkman's pretty lanky. He'll go first. Danger-James is little, but he's chubby. And I always see him eating blueberry muffins. He's got fat on him, so he'll live a couple of days longer. This is actually a horrible subject to be discussing. Maybe they went prepared. Is there a place on the ship that sells ice chests? |
| Wednesday, March 5th, 2008 | |
| 11:05 am | Disappearing people, huh? Charlie, I swear, if you disappear on me, I'll steal your fiancee. Doesn't this sort of thing happen often? You hear about things like this happening on Cruises all the time. People either fall overboard or they're kidnapped by pirates, or they're kidnapped on shore and never make it back to the ship. I've read a couple of related articles. But two people? I was under the impression that Cruise Director Shenkman didn't have many friends. Well, because he probably doesn't have much time for them. I barely do now, and I'm not even the Cruise Director! But why would pirates want Shenkman? If I was Captain Hook, I'd throw him back. Or why would they want the weasely little port lecturer fellow? Dr. Danger-James. Unless they were butt pirates... There's a thought. Lately it feels like I'm on a gay cruise and all of the men brought along their hags. That's okay, though. I'll seduce the women and have them all to myself-- if they'll ever stop shopping, dancing, and singing cabaret karaoke with their buddies. Didn't Danger-James write a book? Help! I'm A Werewolf! or something. Was there a full moon recently? Maybe he ate Shenkman. That still doesn't explain why he would then go missing. Unless he's in hiding after eating the cruise director. I still say the best bet is that they're together in one of the vacant rooms, an empty office, or a laundry closet having endless amounts of gay sex like everyone else. My next perverted topic: Who's on top? I'd bet $50 that Shenkman has the port lecturer bent over a desk somewhere. |
| Wednesday, February 27th, 2008 | |
| 10:29 am | Who wants to go do some shots?? Jello shots? I think I also want to go play some poker. And I need a date. Anyone want to be my date? No, Charlie, you're not allowed. You abandoned me! |
| Friday, February 1st, 2008 | |
| 1:39 pm | It'll be just like Three's Company! (only better) |
| Friday, January 25th, 2008 | |
| 1:02 pm | So is it just me... or has there been a foray of random drunken or drug influenced journal entries? Everyone suddenly wants to be a blogger when their brain is mush. I love it! I'm a man of many words, myself.. However, I usually prefer not to express my undying love for Charlie via journal or blog entries. I'm usually fairly under control when I've had my share of Jack Daniels and dry martinis. Also.. when I drink, I'm a very classy drunk. I have too many and I'm Shakespeare. I know, I know.. you're all incredibly jealous and envious. It must suck not to be a Hogarth... |
| Monday, October 29th, 2007 | |
| 10:15 am | Charlie... If I'm Doc Brown for Halloween, will you be my Marty McFly? And wear a little, red 80s thermal vest thing?? It's a requirment. |
| Friday, October 19th, 2007 | |
| 11:35 am | So the ship decided to freak out! That was a little exciting.. except for the fact that I had just rushed to the prop room to get one of Daphne's headdresses she forgot, and when I was in there, the ship did it's thing. And yes, with my luck, the door slammed shut and locked behind me. So I was locked in a prop closet. But that's it. Oh yes, and Daphne didn't have her headdress for the fourth scene. Thank you, Charlie, for coming to my rescue, once again! You're my knight in shining armor! |
| Wednesday, October 17th, 2007 | |
| 2:57 am | Memo: some of the dancers and I are headed to the bar and lounge for a nightcap (and by that, I mean jello shots...)! Anyone who wants to join is quite welcome! Charlie, don't say I didn't tell you! |
| Thursday, October 11th, 2007 | |
| 10:20 am | Charlie, you RAT bastard! Give me back my autographed Elaine Stritch on Tour T-shirt!!! |
| Monday, October 8th, 2007 | |
| 11:59 am | what the bloody hell. Charlie was right! There is no Taco Hut! What is the deal??? Charlie, take me to get some Enchiladas. You owe me lunch, bitch. |
| Monday, October 1st, 2007 | |
| 9:14 am | so.. if your souvenir from Hawaii is a real, live, sexy Hula Girl... we can bring those back on board, right? |
| Friday, September 28th, 2007 | |
| 9:13 am | Why does the ship not have a damned Taco Hut?!!! |
| Tuesday, September 11th, 2007 | |
| 2:07 pm | So.... Charlie locked himself in a closet.. And he managed to tie himself to a metal shelf with a vacuum cord too.. I found it very amusing. After, of course, I was certain he was going to survive. Did anyone see Charlie doing this??? Where was I?! |
| Thursday, July 26th, 2007 | |
| 11:02 pm | "I swear to God, Charlie made me do it!" That's my answer for everything. If something breaks? Charlie did it. If something goes wrong backstage? Charlie did it. If the chorus girls' costumes disappear? Yeah, Charlie did that too. He frequents the drag clubs, but shh, that's a secret. Anything else you can think of, Charlie did that as well. So why am I telling you this? Because! Charlie told me I had to? Okay, no, not really. But I'm on board this barge of fun thanks to Charlie. Apparently they needed extra help with all of the stages they cover, so I'm here as the ships brand spankin' new Assistant Stage Manager! (I know.. not as grand a title as I would have hoped for either) I'm Huckleberry Hogarth. Yes, I'm named after the scrawny twelve year old literary character that Mark Twain fantasized about. No, I'm not particularly fond of that fact. So don't mention it. I'm divorced. I don't have any kids. I had a goldfish once. I used to work for the Miami Herald. I used to be younger, but I'm just as damn sexy as ever. And I'm frankly just running out of things to say. |